


Peridot's Bizarre Adventures

by Zainax



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Dank Memes, Memes, Old Memes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-23
Updated: 2018-03-22
Packaged: 2019-04-06 18:30:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 590
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14062899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zainax/pseuds/Zainax
Summary: This work was originally posted by me to fanfiction.net and now I've brought it here.Summary:Peridot goes on wonderful, yet bizarre adventures.





	1. Chapter 1

Peridorito’s Bizzare Adventures  
A troll fanfic(from 2016)  
\---------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Granite: *smoking weed with Armrest and Squidward*  
Peridat: *rolls in on unicycle from the distance*  
Armrest: AYYYE HERE CUM DAT JAM!!!! *points at Pericot*  
Frogidot: O SHITE M8 WADDUP!!! I’M GONNA FUCK U UP M8!  
Squidward: *gasps gently, disgusted at Peridack’s profanity, and covers Staven’s ears* ssshhhh…..It’s okay Ro-I mean Stave u dunn need to hear any of dis….  
Staven *strokes Stave’s ears gently*  
Staven: *is scared* wot?  
Granite: *crushes joint, and points dramatically at Peridegdeg* STOP UR FUCKIN BUTTHURT BITCHING WRRRYYYY  
Peridat: K ._. *strolls away sadly on unicycle*  
\---------------------------------------------------------------------------  
A/N: I have no idea why I made this. :)


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> oof.

[In the voice of the narrator from Spongebob]:  
...And now for...another highly anticipated part of…..Peridot’s Bizarre Adventures…  
\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
-pan in onto Stets Uninu’s house-

Ghost spectating from afar, in a quite ghostly manner: Inside the household of Universe and co. it appears the only living things there appear to be Pearl, whomst is standing idly whilst staring at a ruined picture of her dead girlfriend she never stood a chance with, and on the sofa, a gem much smaller than Pearl, sits, staring at Pearl smugly while smoking an illegal dosage of Marijuana, she….is….Peridot, she has a green thumb, or rather green everything, yet can’t keep a single plant alive.

(The ghost goes quiet and watches what is happening)

Peridot: Pearl…..Pearl….*smoker’s cough noise* hey, look at me!

Pearl: *puts down picture, and turns to look at Peridot*....

Peridot: *exhales* Bitch.

Pear: *Is triggered* ...Hhhh...What….did you say to me…?

Peridick: (insert smug anime girl face here) ...You clearly heard what I said...you clod *eats blunt* I called you….a….(enhance echo and ambience)B I T C H

Pearl: *becomes extremely buff, like a Jojo or Fist of the North Star character* *points at Peridot*

Peridare: wha...A-are you okay? I didn’t do anything wrong! *nervous laughter* I was j-just s-s-s-speaking the truth! I mean, yeah! No..! Actually, I think I was just...heh..y’know…”joking around”, like ‘wink, wonk ;)’ if ya know what I mean *starts sweating bullets and averts gaze* …

Pearl: お前はもう死んでいる

Peridot: 何!?? 

Perid’oh: *body starts making crunching noises* *lets out high pitch scream before literallly exploding into pieces*

Pearl: ah….*becomes unbuffed* ...whoops I did it again! ...oh, well *goes to room*

Pearl: *makes hologram of Rose Quartz* ah...Rose! It is so wonderful to see you again! I’ve missed you for quite a while….maybe we can do something fun I suppose!

Rose Hologram: *lays on floor seductively*  
Pearl: *gasp* ROSE! I didn’t mean THAT type of fun...but I for one, CANNOT just simply turn down such an offer!

Both: *begin to slowly phase clothes off*

Robbie Rotten: *runs in before the phasing off of clothing is complete and pulls down screen to censor everything* Don’t let your kids watch! *runs off*

Ghost: This is a christain server, and we N EV E R do naughty things here! (insert fake innocent smile here) WE, are A L L children of god AND yeezus here! Things that are not famliy friendly are the things happening behind the curtains…. We can’t see it, but we can DEFINITELY hear it… (insert loud moans from behind curtains here) We can’t afford to show them or else we’ll get demonetized by the entire internet. It seems that Peridot is fucking ded tho lol rip *disappears*

(pans to Peridot’s pieces in the shape of a triangle)  
*X-Files theme plays*  
\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
[Narrator from Spongebob]:   
The…..End…


End file.
